New Sins from an Old List

The Vatican has released a new, more modern list of sins. The new list includes sins relevant to bioethics, stem cell research, drug trafficking, cloning, and responsiblilities to the environment. Apparently, the Vatican feels the Ten Commandments need a make-over.

Here are a few more sins to upgrade the old list:

1. Thou shalt not text message while in a conversation with someone present. Even if you are nodding your head and saying uh-huh occasionally, the person present knows that he or she is being ignored and that someone else has your attention.

2. Thou shalt not view pornography on a computer in a public place. This is not a commentary on pornography per se, but if others see you looking at pornography, then they have this visual of you and what you most likely would be doing if you were not sitting in a public place, and people would prefer the pornography minus the visual that includes you.

3. Thou shalt not talk to strangers in restaurants. The strangers are there to eat and visit with their friends and family. They did not go there for you to intrude. The next "sin" probably applies to you as well.

4. Thou shalt not call customers, patrons, or other unrelated people "hon" or "sweetie". It is disrespectful to other people to force terms of endearment on them.

5. Thou shalt not make noises unnecessarily while in a bathroom stall in a public facility. While some noises are unavoidable, singing, whistling, or excessive groaning make you seem mentally imbalanced and make other people uncomfortable.

6. Thou shalt not continue to talk to someone while they are walking away from you. Obviously, they aren't interested in anything else you have to say or they would have stayed around for more of your pearls of wisdom.

7. Thou shalt not tell another person how blessed he or she is. One person's blessing is another person's burden so don't presume to know which ones are which.

8. Thou shalt not send out "holiday" letters at the beginning of a new year. You know better than to think other people really care about your long list of accomplishments and amazing travels. If they want something to make themselves feel bad about their inadequate lives, they will watch Access Hollywood.

9. Thou shalt not look to the car next to you at a red light. It's just creepy, so keep your eyes on the road. This also applies to elevators and escalators.

10. Thou shalt not tell another person to smile. Especially don't tell the person that a smile improves one's appearance. Non-smilers are usually just fine until they are told that they are ugly and a smile might help.

I don't know how the Almighty limited her list to just ten; there could easily be more than ten on my list. I guess that's what makes her the Almighty instead of me or the Vatican.