I am never surprised when a person expresses hatred across the board. That is what hateful people do. They hate themselves and everyone else. I get that.
I am, however, surprised by a member of any minority or oppressed group that expresses bitter, angry words or actions toward a member of an oppressed group outside of their own. One might think that someone who has been a victim of hatred would have a special sensitivity regarding the feelings of another oppressed person. It doesn't seem to work that way. I receive the cruelest, sickest "jokes" via e-mail from a person who has probably been many times on the receiving end of similar nastiness.
Apparently, sensitivity is overridden by pecking order. It is as if this mean-spirited "jester" feels a need to "even things up" but is too cowardly to confront the individuals that ridicule him.
Why have I not confronted this person regarding his meanness? Up to this point, I have ignored and deleted the cruel words that apparently amuse him. I have tried to retain a morsel of respect for him as a person. I have tried to understand the pecking order and the fact that he is a target in the pecking order as well as a participant.
Today, understanding has worn thin. I'm feeling hateful and I'm tempted to blame him for making me feel that way. I refuse to join the pecking order.
P.S. Since venting about this, I contacted the person and asked that I not be forwarded any more insensitive "jokes" as my patience has worn thin. I received a very gracious reply. Perhaps, if we all became proactive (belated as mine was) in dealing with the barrage of hateful, forwarded e-mails, we will reduce the number of uninvited spam-and-slam crap in our inboxes. It's worth a try.
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1 comment:
Hate is not fun and girls just want to have fun.:) Hate builds a prison for the sufferer. Hate takes away joy and happiness. Hate takes away the sunshine,the breeze, the flower blooming. Hate makes me feel small. I paste on my smile, protection against hate, and try to move on with my day. Hate is never satisfied with the one person it possess. It always wants the next person too. No, I am not a big fan of hate. It uses up so much energy and there are so little rewards. I might possibly be too lazy to hate.:)
Take care. Heather
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