GIVE US THIS DOG ...

My dog is very much in tune with my schedule, or should I say "my undisciplined day." Every morning, I hear her stir in the living room when my alarm clock goes off the first time. Her "stirring" is just the changing of positions on the couch because she knows I'm a long way from getting out of bed. There's a bit more stirring the next time I get up to smash the snooze setting. She begins to get her hopes up when I go into the bathroom, but she knows that it is not a given that I'm going to stay up. However, her excitement explodes when I finally come into the dining room to shut off the second (emergency) alarm clock. She jumps, she spins, she pounces. She knows this is it!

The day has officially begun! When she sees me slip on the laceless taking-the-dog-out sneakers, she smiles (really). She romps to the back door and stands wiggling her behind, sniffing at the crack in the door frame. The world has awakened, a new day has begun, and the sun has risen in brilliant splendor. There is new stinky stuff to roll in, new pedestrians to frighten, and new grass on which to defecate.

After putting her in the back yard, I come back inside the house, closing the door between me and smells, the pedestrians, and the sunshine.

I pop a couple pills with my Diet Coke and wonder what she knows that I've overlooked. Tomorrow morning, I'll jump, spin, and pounce ... maybe.

HATE IS NEVER AMUSING

I am never surprised when a person expresses hatred across the board. That is what hateful people do. They hate themselves and everyone else. I get that.

I am, however, surprised by a member of any minority or oppressed group that expresses bitter, angry words or actions toward a member of an oppressed group outside of their own. One might think that someone who has been a victim of hatred would have a special sensitivity regarding the feelings of another oppressed person. It doesn't seem to work that way. I receive the cruelest, sickest "jokes" via e-mail from a person who has probably been many times on the receiving end of similar nastiness.

Apparently, sensitivity is overridden by pecking order. It is as if this mean-spirited "jester" feels a need to "even things up" but is too cowardly to confront the individuals that ridicule him.

Why have I not confronted this person regarding his meanness? Up to this point, I have ignored and deleted the cruel words that apparently amuse him. I have tried to retain a morsel of respect for him as a person. I have tried to understand the pecking order and the fact that he is a target in the pecking order as well as a participant.

Today, understanding has worn thin. I'm feeling hateful and I'm tempted to blame him for making me feel that way. I refuse to join the pecking order.

P.S. Since venting about this, I contacted the person and asked that I not be forwarded any more insensitive "jokes" as my patience has worn thin. I received a very gracious reply. Perhaps, if we all became proactive (belated as mine was) in dealing with the barrage of hateful, forwarded e-mails, we will reduce the number of uninvited spam-and-slam crap in our inboxes. It's worth a try.

Abuse and Neglect of Characters

The movie, Stranger than Fiction, starring Emma Thompson as a writer whose main characters were always killed by the end of the novel, explored the writer's responsibilities to her characters especially regarding the ending of their lives. However, even when it is not a matter of life and death for the characters of fiction, does the writer bear some responsibility for the characters' well-being? What if the writer is guilty of abuse and neglect of her characters?

Every thirty-eight seconds, a fiction character is a victim of psychological abuse. Psychological abuse occurs when the writer toys with the emotions of a character, arousing a warm flame only to douse it with ice water. For example, the character experiences joy and rapture having just met the man of her dreams with whom she will share a forever-and-ever ending. Then, invariably the writer steps in and dashes all hope by introducing the dream man to the wealthy widow who just moved in next door. Another example is the noble story of surrender and acceptance of a character deserted on an uninhabited island. He learns to survive, cope, and even thrive with only a chimpanzee by his side. Again, the writer is so presumptuous that she will send a helicopter in to return him to the pampered wife and child who were yet to notice that their breadwinner hadn't returned from his business trip. As pathetic as these circumstances are, there is an even more despicable affront to characters by far too many writers. These writers, whose immense numbers are difficult to estimate, are guilty of neglect.

The neglect of characters usually starts with a relatively benign act by the writer such as filing away a chapter in a three-prong folder or saving a file on a flash drive. While these acts appear to be responsible and even conscientious, the worm soon turns. The character waits for the writer, unaware that the writer, whether intentional or not, will not return. The character fails to thrive while in the file cabinet. Hidden away from sunlight and social contact, the character begins to shrivel and fade. What was once a well-developed character having contradictions, strengths and foibles becomes reduced to scrap paper. On the flash drive, the character waits behind documents recently opened. The longer the character waits, the further she falls behind other, more pretentious documents, like spreadsheets, for example.

What can be done for these neglected characters? Is there any hope? There is, but it involves a difficult form of treatment. The character cannot simply be returned to where her story left off. If there is to be any salvation for her, she must suffer in order to be saved. The writer must put her in some precarious situation in which only the cruelest wordsmith would be willing to abandon her a second time. Either the character must be immediately immersed in a powerful, threatening series of events that threatens either her existence or the existence of a loved one, or the character must face a competing character in another book by the same writer and be willing to grab the limelight, outshining the competitor, and subsequently once again securing an honorable place in the writer's note cards.

If writers have a heart, which they claim they do, they must no longer avoid looking into the pale faces of their forgotten characters. The abused and neglected characters, the forgotten leaders of tomorrow's best-selling list, deserve to be given their God-given rights and privileges. Write your congressional representatives today and ask them to support the Filed and Forgotten Universal Character Keeper (FFUCK) Act. Thank you and God Bless America!

Fearless Moment

When does the fearless moment occur? Where are we when it happens? Why is it that the fearless moment usually lasts for only a moment and then we return to our normal state of anxiety? Is being fearless overrated? Is it so bad to be in a state of anxiety if that is indeed our normal state? Aren't these just artificial labels for the purpose of ... what purpose?

We are like drug addicts that have once experienced that perfect high and spend the rest of our lives trying to re-enact it. We think of those moments that we felt like King Midas and everything we touched turned to gold. There were those moments of perfect synchronicity when the planets are correctly aligned and we are blessed with miracles. We recall those rare experiences when time seems to slow down and we are acutely aware of our every perception within every second. Of course, then there is that illusive zone where creativity thrives in spite of our fearful nature.

We analyze those seemingly sacred moments in an attempt to induce the birth of just one more. We tell ourselves that we could do so much more, enrich our lives and the lives of others, if only, if only, we could ... Yet, for all our efforts, we stop and ask ourselves, "When does the fearless moment occur?" and there is no answer. We sit quietly and we wait. In the waiting, we find breath. Like a butterfly that hovers nearby, the fearless moment seems so close. We see it, we reach for it; we reach for it in the belief that to grasp it is to have safety, to be fearless. However, the grasping fingers tremble. The fearless moment is gone.

New Sins from an Old List

The Vatican has released a new, more modern list of sins. The new list includes sins relevant to bioethics, stem cell research, drug trafficking, cloning, and responsiblilities to the environment. Apparently, the Vatican feels the Ten Commandments need a make-over.

Here are a few more sins to upgrade the old list:

1. Thou shalt not text message while in a conversation with someone present. Even if you are nodding your head and saying uh-huh occasionally, the person present knows that he or she is being ignored and that someone else has your attention.

2. Thou shalt not view pornography on a computer in a public place. This is not a commentary on pornography per se, but if others see you looking at pornography, then they have this visual of you and what you most likely would be doing if you were not sitting in a public place, and people would prefer the pornography minus the visual that includes you.

3. Thou shalt not talk to strangers in restaurants. The strangers are there to eat and visit with their friends and family. They did not go there for you to intrude. The next "sin" probably applies to you as well.

4. Thou shalt not call customers, patrons, or other unrelated people "hon" or "sweetie". It is disrespectful to other people to force terms of endearment on them.

5. Thou shalt not make noises unnecessarily while in a bathroom stall in a public facility. While some noises are unavoidable, singing, whistling, or excessive groaning make you seem mentally imbalanced and make other people uncomfortable.

6. Thou shalt not continue to talk to someone while they are walking away from you. Obviously, they aren't interested in anything else you have to say or they would have stayed around for more of your pearls of wisdom.

7. Thou shalt not tell another person how blessed he or she is. One person's blessing is another person's burden so don't presume to know which ones are which.

8. Thou shalt not send out "holiday" letters at the beginning of a new year. You know better than to think other people really care about your long list of accomplishments and amazing travels. If they want something to make themselves feel bad about their inadequate lives, they will watch Access Hollywood.

9. Thou shalt not look to the car next to you at a red light. It's just creepy, so keep your eyes on the road. This also applies to elevators and escalators.

10. Thou shalt not tell another person to smile. Especially don't tell the person that a smile improves one's appearance. Non-smilers are usually just fine until they are told that they are ugly and a smile might help.

I don't know how the Almighty limited her list to just ten; there could easily be more than ten on my list. I guess that's what makes her the Almighty instead of me or the Vatican.

The Zone

Creative people often speak of having "entered the zone", a place where time loses importance and the focus is exclusively on the creative process. They allow the muses access to their subconscious mind, to freely dance and play with their own words, longings, and experiences. Furthermore, they trust that some beneficent force will act as a screen, filtering out negative influences while allowing the cream of the collective unconscious to flow in.

Those of us who are amateurs wait hopefully for the muses to guide us into the zone. Sometimes we manipulate the time of day or our location or the use of tools (a computer or notepad?) to seduce the muses into giving up their inspiration. Other times we grit our teeth and close our eyes in an attempt to force the arrival of anything that might pepper our blank slate.

I confess that I expect the muses to arrive by way of a mail order catalogue. I will read every entry in the writer's book club flyer searching for "The One", the book that contains the secret to writing and will reveal itself to me for $19.95 plus shipping and handling. More often than not, I'm disappointed when it arrives. Either it demands work ("develop your craft") or attempts to entrap me in structure and terminology when all I really want to do is write something worth reading. It's not likely that I will, in this lifetime, do anything worth being written about by someone else. So the remaining alternatives for me seem to either be forgotten or to write.

Often these books on writing are a collection of personal experiences of writers about how they "broke into publication." One entry in one of the several books like this that I own is my favorite. Both the title and the entire article is "Just Send the Damn Thing In."

I also like to read quotations from writers. The Nebraska Center for Writers has on their website (http://mockingbird.creighton.edu/ncw/quotes.htm) an extensive list of quotations that are categorized according to craft, editors and critics, publishing, reading, teaching, and the writer's life. I could spend days perusing this website. It's loaded with wisdom and inspiration.

For example, Alice Walker said "Writing saved me from the sin and inconvenience of violence." She lost an eye when her little brother shot her with a BB gun. Maybe what she intended was that writing saved her from doing violence. That I understand completely.

Grace Paley, a proficient writer who died within the past year, said, "The best thing is to read and write, no matter what. Don't live with a lover or roommate who doesn't respect your work. ... Write what will stop your breath if you don't write." I have learned the hard way to avoid talking about writing to anyone who is not supportive. It's bad enough to have an inner critic but when it becomes externalized and tangible, even writing may not be enough to save me from doing violence.

I like the Nebraska website. It's free and I don't have to pay for shipping and handling. However, it's cost is in spending time outside the zone. It's only during the time in "the zone" that I can't breathe unless I write.

POV (Prisoners of View)

The point of view (POV) in a story is an important element of writing according to those who claim to know something about writing.

A story could be told in first person. According to some writers, the story in first-person is the easiest to write because it is the one that we have most experience with in our everyday conversations. This says something about our self-centered nature if, in fact, most conversational statements begin with "I".

The story could also be told in third-person; the omnipotent, omniscient narrator tells as little or as much as the reader/listener is supposed to know at any one time. This is what many people think they are doing in everyday conversations while they are overusing the pronoun "I".

The limited omniscient POV tells the story as understood by one of the characters. This is what the "I" users are actually doing. The stream of consciousness POV not only tells the reader about what the character is consciously aware but also about the character's unconscious processes. I've decided not to comment on this one, but will instead invoke the Fifth Amendment. The objective POV follows the action and the dialogue, leaving the readers/listeners to interpret for themselves motives and internal conflict. Isn't that what journalists used to do before Fox News?

Moreover, the story might change from one point of view to another as long as the reader/listener understands whose head or heads that he or she is in. Now, isn't that simple? The best way to keep the reader informed in this more complex style of POV, of course, is stay in the same POV for the entire scene or chapter or conversation.

In other words, it's all about perception. As characters on the world stage, perception is reality and vice versa.

I'm glad I was able to take time out of my busy day as I am, in fact, able to clear this up for you because this is the way I see it ... so should you.